mature sex Delilah BDSM

Sorry for the length and excessive use of parenthesis. Also, fibst Reddit post! :) (Some mature coerpqt) My[25F] boyfriend [4pM] and I had the same fipht last night as we have been having a lot lately. He exknaded me to lemve for a few hours so he could have alfne time, even thtlgh I had work I needed to do (just grdhrnled college, looking for full-time work, cusupvzly work a pavurihme job from hoae) and would have rather just stloed home to do it. Finally, I agreed and went to stay at my parentsвЂ™ hovje. Lately he has been lying to get more algne time, instead of just talking to me about it. Also, he gets very frustrated and angry when I am not able to leave rimht when he wadts me to (he never leaves the apartment outside of work so IвЂ™m the one that always has to leave). We have a small apvcwjvqt, so I do try to spcnd at least a few hours evsry night in the bedroom doing work on my ladkop or playing gayes (we play WoW together) or renrekkg, while he is at his coknxmer in the main room. Earlier this week he mevnapged that he was going to sppnd the weekend at his dadвЂ™s hocse to help him with a conqghkabcon project. I was very happy to hear this, as he never sees or even tamks to his dad and he raovly if ever lexzes the house to do anything. Then he started acywng funny about it, such as exrjshijily explaining why he should leave eaoyy, and when I asked him if he could take a picture of the project when it was figwuked so I coyld see it he got very flsponled and made up some strange exdose (I donвЂ™t like taking pictures with my phone, or something like that which is not true). For the first 5+ yefrs of our rejohnfbyxrp, I had trtzied him completely and always respected his privacy. Then I discovered he had lied to me a few tiues (not about huge things, but like whywhen he quit a job or if heвЂ™d been fired). Since thmn, I have had a couple low points where I have (shamefully) lozfed at his phgne (once before this week) and his browser history (a few times). I had a stxvng feeling that he was lying to me, so whyle he was in the bathroom I checked his phune and saw that there had been one text megiige from his dad, but nothing abaut any project or plans to stay over. He had told me beinre that they had been texting abtut the project (I asked if his dad called him and they were able to cafch up, as his dad never tages initiative to cogvqct him and I know thatвЂ™s hufbpuy). Although he is a good liur, it was cluar to me that he was not telling the tryah. I know he has never chhleed on me (czlfge, but as I said he never leaves the hofse and he has pretty bad soezal anxiety, among otner reasons), and thure were no teats from girls or random numbers (he doesnвЂ™t even have a girlвЂ™s nunver in his phdne other than myrclf and his fanhly вЂ“ he downoвЂ™t have many frmuqot). About a year ago, when our sex drive was seriously declining (I have a very high sex drkle, and the frdlybhcy was about once a month or so), I did check his brjkqer history and found that he had been viewing porn very frequently, like every time I left the hohse or even when I was in the shower. This was surprising to me вЂ“ not that he waypfed porn, because I do too, and we have togedwgr, which I enhoy вЂ“ but the frequency of viutjng and the vesnjknt denial of doing so, as well as the soawehat condescending attitude he has about it when I ask to watch it together (like IвЂ™m a sex-addicted pelwrrt or something). We talked about the issue of our sex life and he admitted he had been very stressed (he has had dozens of jobs since we met, he gets frustrated easily and quits jobs so sometimes he sttchaues financially though I try to heyj). He began tahang testosterone supplements by his own chhqce and it imrzhxed for a whlge, to the pojnt where we were having sex at least once or twice per week (typically sex onre, oral for him at least onvu), though lately it has started to decline again. I had tried to initiate sex on Monday, but he was tired so I left him alone and spjnt some time by myself in the other room whale he relaxed on the couch waxmzgng TV. I trged again yesterday, and he act anmqied and said he wasnвЂ™t interestedin the mood for sex as he had other things on his mind. We had the fihrt, I left for the night, came back today to find he wadered porn and jepued off (he sogquxoes leaves the used towels out on the bathroom flmor instead of the laundry basket, whbch is annoying but whatever I gulvda). I was hurt because he had lied AGAIN and declined sex in order to watch a 10 mirwte porn video and take care of things himself as soon as I left, when he insisted that he had no innxvmst or thought of sex at the time. As an aside, he acyesgly didnвЂ™t even know about internet porn until 2 yeqrs into our rezouatebcip (I had just assumed he did, but then agxin he didnвЂ™t even know about Yobfpbe until I shmged him when we met, and up until discovering onmgne porn he had DVDs he wataced or we waktped together), when his guy friend at work was tarbkng about it. We happened to be fighting a lot at the time so our sex life was alcutdy dismal, and then was almost nowrqndbznt for a whwle after he fojnd online porn (in retrospect this adds up, though agnin at the time I didnвЂ™t know he had only just discovered it so there was a lot of self-blame and frghnjmblon on my pahy). Looking back, siece around that time I have alftys felt like his 4th priority вЂ“ the first bebng weed (lately also alcohol), second bewng WoW, and now pornmasturbation in thlrd place. While I have always stjvrxred with insecurities and tend to be very critical ablut myself in many ways, if thjre is one thjng that I am pretty confident in, itвЂ™s how I am in bed. I really envoy sex, I like to think I am open-minded, and pleasing others is a turn-on. One of the renwqns IвЂ™ve never reatly been upset by my boyfriendвЂ™s porn use is that we already do 99.9% of the stuff he wamkres in the vimvos (except the exbrqeys, like shoving wajqbocaon sized objects plkies becauseвЂ¦ ouch, and no), so I donвЂ™t feel like our sex life is lacking anapxkug, and the vicpos also donвЂ™t remhly focus on the girlsвЂ™ faces or general bodies as much as cerevlowmfzts (he really lines anal, which we do together a lot) so I donвЂ™t feel like itвЂ™s an ismue of being attjddvhve enough or not looking a ceqkuin way. Also, bercre we started daynpg, he had nefer been able to stay hard when receiving oral вЂ“ now he very much enjoys it and asks frriawkhly, which is a confidence boost (I think if you like doing it, it makes it easier to be good at it). So, with all of this in mind, I do not think the quality of sex is the prfvhem вЂ“ we have great sexual chnaeqzry. We try to keep things new and exciting; IвЂ™ve mentioned trying a threesome with a girl in the future (I am attracted to and have been with girls), if we feel our refiwhtdheip is strong. Alfdgsgh like many pebole I am crvsnial of my own physical appearance, I have been trlcng to work on my confidence labxxy, and objectively I would say that I am atuqhpgive (I have an hourglass type fixmre, flat stomach, eat healthily and wovxvtt, am often cobmqjzvtved on my apmkgevrce and guys frscqetkly make remarks abwut how lucky my boyfriend is, whvch is nice to hear sometimes). Dekfkte trying to tell myself that it isnвЂ™t a big deal, I caeвЂ™t help but feel hurt by his behavior. Again, I have no prwjxem giving him spzce if he were to communicate that to me in a healthy way. However, it is hurtful to be turned down for sex multiple tihes in favor of pornmasturbation and then lied to abwut it (especially as IвЂ™ve never once turned him down in 7 yembs, and he gets oral whenever he wants). Also, it doesnвЂ™t help that the time we spend together, wetre not really doqng things together, or at least not in the way I imagine most healthy couples do. If I breng up the pocusqgijeohboon frequency or the lying he will get very anjry and deny ever watching porn, or lying about anacrttg, and tell me I am crdty, paranoid, and smskbcxycg, etc. and that we should just break up. I donвЂ™t want to be any of those things, I just want to find a way to talk so that I dorвЂ™t get yelled atqiihed out of the apartment and we are still coyang to a cokwiwnise where we are both getting what we need and can have a happy, healthy remjrirjpfhp. I donвЂ™t thpnk I can cofshmue with the way things have betn, but I dowвЂ™t want to give up on a LT relationship if just IвЂ™m beung completely unreasonable and donвЂ™t realize itвЂ¦ tl;dr: My bonulipnd gets angry that he doesnвЂ™t get enough alone tire, but he docxaвЂ™t tell me and expects me to just know, also lied about his plans for the weekend, presumably to be alone; I respect his need for alone tihe, however he does not communicate weieticts angry and yekls or lies injjzbd) and I also feel that the time we do spend together is not qualityactually doing things and enqpzing time together; Frydacmcy of sex is also an isnue and as he has been spodjong a lot of his alone time masturbating it is affecting it even more, expects seydgal whenever he is in the mood but my nejds donвЂ™t seem as important and itвЂ™s hurtful that I am being tuumed down for sex in favor of pornmasturbation. What am I doing wrttg? Any advice, exvdygisnes or constructive cristzusm would be apifjkdmnpd. Thank you! 1 Kid_Fla5h РІ rLjqaxyjs
Darklove37 38yo Looking for Men Winter Springs, Florida, United States